Balkan mentality

They are refunded from EU foundation but as they as private business they ask a money 💰 a lot for a Identification card for a dog as Service Dog. Training is 2000 💶 euro and 500 euro is if they just exam your dog. https://www.psivodici.hr/en/psi-vodici-naslovna/ I refused paying a money I can eat several months. This is allready my therapy dog 🙂 I do not need any ID card for a that. I am alive and I am handling with motoric body problems and anxiety because of that car crashed a long time years ago. Legs and hands are sometime 😀 (reed as Often)

They do not know difference between ECA dogs and PSD dogs. In a EU rhee us written about all on this link https://esa-europe.eu/my-way-to-be-a-psd-dog-handler/?lang=en

Genetic

Possible is in this pure country not finding a job, any job, cleaning, cafe bar weiters etc.etc…if You are undesireable unpolitical person. I have a college degree. Divorced from a man, who had a influence than and has today. He lied than and till today to everyone, his parents, friends, Church. I left him after only 2 months, so no child. It was good thing. Living with his family is a good contraception 🙂 I know from 2 years relattionship before marriage that he has a some kind of epilepsy, or something like that. He returns from a military 1 year obligation service with a brain surgery. Hide a truth from me and all citizen in a our little town. He was handsome, gentleman, little boring but newer was a bad to me. I was thinking it must be so, compromis. I married. Honeymoon Spain 7 days. After that Dubrovnik Croatia another several days. There we went on a order of his family, some black magic they did. I did not understand why and what will be but I saw horrible ghost when a thise Bosnian muslim woman burning something. After marriage a pressure from his parents (or that black magic) was so horrible that he lost himself during a morning verbal fight between two of us (his jelaousy again) and that morning, those 15 min was “something creapy different” in a his “ordinary jelaousy” (I used on ususally questions 🙂 I loved him so I laughed and hug him), those freaky 15 min about 10am in a september around 17th, he jumped on me as wild animal ??? and bitted me to death. I was in a blood all over me and a lot of injuries on a head, He suddenly “woke up” because I was still standing in a state of schock, he start to crying, hugging, ask for a forgivness…I asked “can I go to a vathroom.wash mayself and we can talk later?”…”of couse my Love, of course my Love, wash all that and we will go to a cafe bar and rwnt a appartment and separate from my family…I went in a bathroom, look in a mirror, there is no skin of a right side of skull. Hadache was awfull. I put 1 kg make up to cover all pain and injuries to think.”what to do?”. Enemys are all. Passive family and this cruelty new family, in the center of beautifull small city. Not possible is that ut is hapening to me :(.. It was very long time ago but I newer believe in a marriage again. I slept over those LAST night as a decent STILL MARRIED (???) wife but on a distance, I was in a cafe bar listening his bubbling about our future, not trusting HIM of course. That day, later, I went to a home of parents, I told my mother at a cafe break those afternoon what happend, she just cried-over herself because “my father will be not satisafated with this??”… I was looking her sadly and hug her on a balkony their appartment “do not worry mam, I will think about all and decide, by my own. Returned to a new family (we are neighborous) and overslept, refused to him husbund-enemy to touch me. Imagine-he wanted my touch??? Horrible! Sillence I need. Tomorow I left without enything, just passport into a bus to Zagreb , Croatia. I moved to another Country, because I will be divorced and a “shame” for a my father and mother. Not important is viollence for a primitive marriage where a religion is a “ruler”. My mother lost her personility in a marriage with him so only what she is doing is sillence and crying. She made a 3-th child to save a husband from a young mistress, her own niece, sisters dautgher-who get pregnant with my father? Horrible! I do not admire so much to a beautifull womans, without a character and strong personility?? No. I am not. I respect a character-not a beauty. Him, my father, that animal who slept with his niece 10 years? (Dautgher of mother’s sister, that sneaky evil woman who are proving her power takeing a married mans in her high school, everywhere, she get a adrenalin mental orgasam-when she get a man). Why she is sleeping in our appartment? Her parents send her away from a village to a Mostar Univercity and she “thanking” her aunt over sleeping with aunt husband next 10 years??:) I wasjust 9-year old when IT STARTS but notice later, when I was 10 year old. I find them together in a mothers bed over the night, when mother was in a hospital. Mother end in a hospital, some pain in a abdomen. Truely I think today she want to die, because she knows everything but no proof to get a divorce. So that night as 10 years old child I was going to a toilet and find them. I was schoked but not felt any spain in my soul. I saw betray and I was angry. I woke up 1-year older sister (11 year old) and because she loved a father so much, she get a depreccion and get a sirious endocrinologic health problems. End in a hospital several next years. I newer liked him and his cruelty family as I liked mother’s warm family, so I start to fight with my cousin, father mistress Zdenka Palac (from Medovici Grude Herzegovina) about everything. I want to get her out from.our lives. But my cousin Zdenka was a evil so she said me and my older sister that she will be our “new mother”. I notice one day our mother was not at home after we return from a school. She made a home at different way. Father said that mother was in a hospital in Zagreb. I want to hear her voice but father does not aloud. I was stubborn. She was gone by months. After school I need to eat what a whitch mistress was cooked. I refysed. Get a viollence during next months by my father. I was still stubborn. She allready was acting and saying to us childrens, as a new mother (19 year old woman and father was 32 year old when he became her lower and was in a active relattionship till he was 42 year old).Her mother and my mother are sisters. Noone is good in a her family, only my aunt mother’s sister Dana Lukenda from Tihaljina Herzegovina, who get married there. Aunt Dana was was so nice person with a heart problems so we all kept that ugly secret from her. One day when she hear rumors (husband brother Grgo Palac confirmed to her that it is true) so that tiny moment she passed away, in front of a house in several min. Heart 😦 Zdenka (fathers mistress) family from father side was in Yugoslavia KGB spyies so they had a influence than and today also (nothing change because after a leader of Croatia Franjo Tudjman and his “right hand” Susak was killed 1999 old Yugoslavia KGB come as a leader but under the new democratic name). I was thinking what to do? I went in a every home our town and said all about everything. Every day from my 9-18 years old I get beaten from father. Father hated me than and today the same evil he is. So, in those days while I was 10 and 11 years old I decide to say all people in a city that they are sleeping together so someone will help. Mother and older sister was passive and in a some kind of a sillence will cover all shitts we are living in ??? and a of course” a fear from a father”. I was not in any fear. I was small tiny stubborn child with a yelow hair and blue eyes (on mothers family). Little stubborn child whatever someone doing to me. All city was starting a gossiping about father and his mistress Zdenka. He want to married her. She get praignant. One night about midninght she gat a pain and get a blood, lost a child. Fathers child. My mother returned from a hospital and tried to save a marriage by making a new baby? Me and older sister get a sister while we are 16.i 17.years old. I am gratefull but I was expecting a devorce from that animal father. Zdenka mistress was furious. She moved into a Zagreb. She payed a lot of a black magic to kill a baby into mothers body. Sister was born healty but mother stayed into a hospital. Mother gave me a little sister to carry about till she came home. I did. Older sister was not able to carry about nothing, sleeping all night and days. I understand mother why she is living a such a fear of powerty, in a fear of lonlyness, bed childhood, she and other 12 brothers and sister was raised without a father (KGB Yugoslavia killed him after II World War about 1955 when he was on a his goverment work in Jablanica Lake (Bosnia and Herzegovina) as night guardian of hidrocentrale maschine. He was a Chatholic and had baptiste all his 13 childrens. They prayed at home-it was forbidden than). He was a stubborn proud man, who was not living in a fear and did not want to work for a Yugoslavia KGB (his 5 brothers did not want to live in Austria-Hungary Union (before Yugoslavia are created at all, iit was time about 1920) so all 5 brothers about 1920-1925 moved over the Zagreb-Ljubljana-Vienna-Paris to USA, New Yersey. 2 of them did not get there, I supose they was killed. 3 of them get there. Changed a name and found a jobs. They send a money to his brother but all money was taken from other not our siblings Lukenda family, who was not our relatives and worked than and today also works for a KGB. They was reeding all letters and took a money from USA our family. It was Lukenda lawyer from Ljubuski city in a Herzegovina who was sending a false report to brothers in USA that after theirs brother death here in Tihaljina her widow having a wild life with a mens ??? Attention was broke any contact between a brothers family and rhem in USA. Today also some people says that Lukenda family from Toronto are our Family. It is not. They are also KGB workers, not our blood genetic. True was that after husband death my grandmother get a big stress and sadness and newer get out from a house. So rare is if she was going out so that you can count on a fingers for a whole year all. Ususalky I was in a gardenwith her, just sitting between fruit trees. She had a so nice loving marriage with granpa Filip Lukenda. She lost her Soul with him. Young beautifull widow was a target to do mobbing over her but she was wise. When she was going to shop or visit someone she took all childrens with her 🙂 Newer alone and newer go out after sunset 🙂 A little goverment pension she is getting and she was paying a school for a children. 5 of them died when they was 3-5 year old from a fever, pneumonia and 8 of them stayed alive. I was there every summer and my older sister was at fathers family over the summer. It is 100 kilometers frim a Adriatic sea coast but no need to go there because a so clean river water passing thru village Tihaljina Herzegovina so I was swimming every summer while they planting a vegetable. Today I am living in a Zagreb. Those cousin who was mistress of my father is in a goverment city last 35 years so she had a influence to making my life as a hell here. I have a good educattion and a little appartment by my own. I can not find a job because she send a people to all employers to reject my CV. She us a pure evil and works for a KGB as her fathers family. She has a criminal record now because with a major of Zagreb she took a goverment money. All influence she ask from “friends” not to go to prison so she is free now. Major was killed several motnth ago, rumors said. In a newspapers he died from a heart (no heart problems). I am still stubborn as a child, walk.on a bright side of life, no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no prostitution. I am living from my own. I do not ask a help from parents or older rich sister in a Germany (she is cold person as a father, with a angel body and a face). Mother is still stupid and passive and she is shaming of her born family because they was pure. She is shaming of me because I am not rich and “important” person. She lost her Faith in a God when “God refused to change a father” as my both sisters “do not believe into a God because He did not answer when they called”. All 4 of them are ateists and hate my everyday Prayer last 21 years from bed car crashe I lost a walking and a lot of motoric problems so I live healty life, after hospital I changed a City and moved to Split, finished a Univercity which I stoped when I was 18 years old (no money) and graduated. I was in Medjugorje every evening Mass those days. After a big struggle in a physical therapy a lot of years I can still walk and cook and made my own life as a single decent person. Gid know. God saw all. God see now. These days is no food at my home so I am cooking what I have. No oil so I made potato and mushrooms on a grill way with a salz. No bread. Corn flour is not good without a white flour but I put a salz and rest of dry yeast and with a warm water I will make corn bread, it will be dry and hard but that is only bread I can have at a monent. I am gratefull for all this I have. God thank You for a all I am and I have thanfully to You.

Friday challenge-be possittive

Hard is be or stay possittive 🙂 When I get up I am allways possittive. As day is passing, joy is vanishing. I am on internet and mixing internet news with a some “new” reparattion appartment in a neighbor is little bit hard. Going out is too hot but stay at home is hard too 🙂 when they do not respect neighborous. News on a internet-better not reed it. Avoid a hot temperature with a cold shower and wet towels at home is better soluttion. If someone is making a noisy better is open a window or balcony and stay there little bit. Going out is not a solution because hot weather need a cold climatisation. Probbably when I am out I will go to a some.cold cafe bar. Spending money on a average taste of coffee and unpleasent people there (no paycheck or tips from all people-no smile) so impression is that weiters in a pub or a restoran want that you drink/eat it fast and “release a place for a new people”? Cafe bar is not a tempettion any more. I am feeling bed there lately because I need to listen bed music (so loud music, bad taste on a public radio) and need to listen all conversations near me. Mens talking about a food and woman are talking about a price of plastic nails. Believe me It seems they lost basic culture. The worst is when unknown people asks a questions about my dog, life, medical problems with a broken foot etc.etc. Here lives 2 milion people (1 milion in a center) but it seems they are some primittive village people who bath themselves (sometime) and rent a appartment, get a govermant job and because of “paying a price” for a that (who knows how can they are living but normal human behavior is be a good citizen) made them very nasty. They “have a opinion” and need to saying to me?? Why is that? Sadism cover with a good attention?

Sexy chat

My ex was evil again. Hateness this morning. I saw on mobile when I made a coffee and sit on a balkony, need a rest from my dog. My female dog was too much iritating this morning as every terrier. But I love her and BEFORE A COFFEE I was gentle and give her attention she need. When I get up the first is allways a dog. I feed her and clean her, play with her then I washing my face and putting a water to boil for a coffee. Every morning the same. My ex is tnx God only my ex 500 kilometars far away so every evil I felt is only over sms. Of course he wrote a sms, I was not “online” on Viber early in the morning so he wrote a sms and turn off mobile that I can not respond on that sms. Often I want a cut his head so..my skin is burning..I took a wet cold towel, put over my neck and made a black turkush coffee, little bit cold milk in it. Balkony is wide open, a lot of a fresh air, and decide to chat with a old friend. I asked for a his dogand his vaccation on a lake. I send a pic of my dog who came.on a balkony and sleep calm now.

My friend is on a work and asked “a pic of legs are a provocattion?” :)..I sad noooo, Iwas sleeping in this, because of earthquakes are often lately so I must have something on me…if I want a provocattiveI could sent you better pic. See now what is a provocattion 🙂 ( So I made a photo better one and sent it to my friend)

He wrote a lot of sexy compliments. It seems he liked a pic which I sent to him??

Anyway this chat made my morning so much lighter and provocattive. It made that someone likes me as I am,.I am a woman to someone. Every woman need a compliment. If someone constantly giving acritics making us feeling ugly, bed, fet or angry because of constantly mobbing…we need a way out..any kind of way out…my friend knows me well. I newer wear short sexy clothes outside a home (sea coast only). He is my best friend last 22 years and nothing happend ever between.He is living on a sea coast where I was on a University.

This made my day better. Survive mentaly no metter what evil people doing to Us, sucking our Joy.

Monday relax music “Karen Souza – 50 Pop Hits” on YouTube

Chill..”Meli get out from letargy”, I am telling this myself..it is not important why You are feeling lonely… If somone has a Peace, lot of friends and family or people without Peace will come and do everything they can to destroy it in Us. If someone has a Love for a everyone, lot of people will hurt Us so deeply and constantly to take away, Love, Humanity. If We lose it, we die inside. I will not aloud those creatures to win.

Music and dance, fruit and little bit healty food,walking and books..it needs a time. Give yourself a time, body will know how to recover itself. Of course a source of evil must be a far away from Us. They are contaminattion. Lonelyness is better than a sickness what a evil people brings. Tnx God I have a pet 🙂

Give me another 1 chance…

Yesterday evening my Ex boyfriend asked 1 more chance dor a Us??!

He would like to come in my City to visit me. I was suprised that he can leave his parents? He is 50 years old but I think he is forgetting that every day 🙂 I just know that “something will happend again” so I accept that tomorow will be here,.travelling by today night bus. After our conversation I felt someting bed. All my insticts are against any kind of seeing each other alive but I test him, how much I can trust his newerending promises? Over the phone I can escape but. Last night we get a deal, tomorow ina early morning we will drink a coffee together 🙂 Today obout 01 pm he told me “that some problems he has”..he want to come in a 5 days, not tomorow..I refused delaying :). Last night and this morning I get a ved feeling about it and pray to God to save me from him, IF HE HIDING SOMETHING BAD FROM ME. I do not want to know what is it. I just do not want any furter mobile communication any more. I must stopped today, now. We can not be friends. I do not trust nothing what he is promising. I had a lot of lost hopes with him in a past, 1 year ago. He has no another woman, maybe not. I am not sure. He is probbably alcoholic. Drug addicted. Boy forever on a mother food. I am not his mother, sister, priest or doctor..everyone choose what to do..I am choosing more laugh, more respect, more truth, more Love 🙂

Warm sandwiches&coffee

I put 2 eggs, sea salz and little bit dry london gin (eggs are not domestic). Often I am using a wine or liquer, while making a food or sweetness. Slice of bread put in a eggs and put on a hot olive oil 2-3 min, both side. Between is a cheese emmentaler. Onion I prepare putting on a hot olive oil and salz, several minutes. That is my favorite warm sandwich 🙂 After launch I like coffee with little bit cold creamy milk.

Barely handling

Barely handling with a agoraphobia. Often I can handle with it but when I am tired from other things I am weak. So I am picturing and not look in a eyes of people because they does not helped. This is a City of Ateism. They are talking about Cristianity but not live IT. So better not ask any conversattion with noone who do not know..